This morning, I did a 20-minute yoga flow, and it felt incredible. It was unlike usual, I didn’t have to push myself—wanting to start came naturally. Lately, I’ve been struggling with energy due to a Hashimoto’s flare. The inspiration to do much of anything hasn’t been there, but today something clicked. It inspired me to begin writing and to reflect on starting fresh after a divorce. It’s been a challenging journey, but moments like these remind me why this fresh start is so important.

Starting Fresh: Blogging to Heal and Grow

I’m proud of myself for starting this blog. Sharing my journey online feels vulnerable, especially when I don’t feel like I’m doing much. But I have been feeling so inspired to begin. Normally, I overthink everything to avoid potential disappointment. I don’t want to flail, bite off more than I can chew, and quit. But today, I chose to act instead of holding back, and that feels like growth.

Learn more about my story and my healing journey on my About page.

This week, I had a breakthrough about my divorce and moving forward. A vision of a butterfly chrysalis came to me—it resonated so deeply. Everything I’ve done in the past year, including this blog, has been part of my transformation. It’s tempting to wish for instant results—a perfect future where I feel confident and whole—but healing is a process. One that is worth the time, the energy, and even the pain.

I am done holding myself back in fear of failing or for protection. I am also done holding onto an old version of my ex-wife in my head who still loves and respects me. As if keeping it alive will keep me from hurting… but I have been hurting regardless. Discomfort often means growth. This change is inevitable but clinging onto the past and to my fear is only making it more painful.

Releasing Guilt and Finding Self-Love After Divorce

Letting go of the past is an essential part of starting fresh after a divorce and I’m ready to start. I’ve deleted old photos and documents, made plans to get rid of shared furniture, and created a new vision board without my ex’s presence. For the first time, I’m putting my needs first.

Letting Go to Move Forward

Protecting my ex or holding onto guilt for ending our relationship doesn’t serve me. It won’t absolve me of my guild over asking for a divorce. I’ve learned I need to accept my choices and love the experiences that shaped me. A quote I saw this morning said, “To love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.” 

I feel so strongly that while I have been hating everything that happened and feeling guilty, it has led me to hate myself. But I can easily say that I am proud of the beautiful and painful moments that I shared with my ex. I am who I am because of them. This new feeling is being proud of what I did to leave that marriage. In doing so, I am making an active step towards loving myself again.

I want my dream future. I am learning to love and accept my choices, accept the now, and ground into the present. My dream future requires acceptance—accepting myself, my choices, and the present moment. As much as I want to rush to a place of peace, healing happens in the trenches.

And while I am in the trenches, I’m committing to myself. I’ve set clear boundaries with my ex, and the divorce papers are moving forward whether they are ready for it or not. I’m clearing out old items, committing to yoga twice a week, and embracing this blog as a creative outlet. This is my chrysalis phase, and I’m ready for what comes next.

I am learning to love and accept my choices, accept the now, and ground into the present – all to create my dream future.

Erin Richey, 2024

Final Thoughts

There’s comfort in accepting the now and grounding into the present. I’m fully committed to finding that comfort and building a brighter future. Thank you for reading—I hope my journey inspires you to start your own.

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The 20-minute yoga flow that inspired my morning: Morning Yoga Glow – 20 Min | Wake Up & Feel Your Best! by Jessica Richburg